Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?'' ''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.'' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 8 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, ''Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.'' "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant. "We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager. "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired. ''Simple,'' said the department manager, ''Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.''' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, “My country needs me!” and jumps. The smartest man in the world grabs one and says, “Well, the world needs me, since I'm so smart,” and jumps. One parachute left and the old man says, “You take it, my life is almost over anyway.” The little girl says, “No. We both can jump.” Confused, the man asks, “How?” The little girl says, “The smartest man in the world took my backpack.” Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.