A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch. The patron takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!" Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. The patron takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch. Again, same reaction from the patron. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied. All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says: "Shay mishter, tashte this!" The patron obliges...he promptly spits it out. "That tastes like pee!," he shoots back at the drunk. The drunk replies: "It ish. Now how old am I? Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 12 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q:whats the difference between a north park cheerleaderand a bag of trash? A:trash gets taken out more often!!! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 107 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$60,000" MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 13 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy goes to a nightclub and when the bouncer won't let him in the guy asks, "'Why not?" "Because you're not wearing a tie," says the bouncer. "But I have come all the way from the other end of town," says the guy. "Sorry mate, that's the rules," says the bouncer. So the guy goes back to his car to try and see if he can find a tie or something like one. He finds a set of jumper cables, ties them around himself, and goes back to the club. "Is this all right?" he asks the bouncer. "Well, all right then," replies the bouncer. "But I'll be watching you - don't start anything!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 16 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.