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Little Johnny: "Dad, I've just saved you $5000 a year."
Dad: "That's great son, but how did you do it?"
Little Johnny: "I got expelled from school."



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Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him,
"Be fruitful and multiply"
but, not in those words.


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I knew I was an unwanted child when
I saw my bath toys were a radio and a toaster.


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3 kinds of people:
Those who can count and those who can't.


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