Bartender: It's getting late. Isn't your wife wondering where you are? Barfly: Not at all. She thinks I'm taking a sketching class. Bartender: How'd you come up with that one? Barfly: It just happened. One night I phoned her from here and she heard someone yell, "Draw one and put a head on it!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 20 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?" The father answered, "I don't know. Nobody has lived that long yet." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 20 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Nancy is in bed with her lover, Bill, who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is Nancy's house, she picks up the receiver. Bill looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of a quite cheery conversation... "Hello?" says Nancy. "Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye, bye." As she hangs up the telephone, Bill asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," Nancy smiles, "that was just my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 110 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This couple are getting on in years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present?" He says, "You didn't use what I got you last year!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 20 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.