A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 21 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted to commit suicide but unfortunately she did not know where her heart was. So the old woman calls up her doctor and asked, "Where's my heart located?" "On a woman, it's usually located under her left breast" the doctor replied. The next day the woman was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a gun shot wound to the knee. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 27 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An old man was laying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies. He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world. With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs. Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding. "Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, "I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand." The Pope says, "No way. You can't do that." The Queen says, "Watch this." So the Queen waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their little plastic Union Jacks on sticks and cheering, basically going ballistic. So the Pope is standing there thinking, "Uh oh, what am I going to do? I never thought she'd be able to do it." So he thinks to himself for a minute and then he turns to her and says, "I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head." The Queen goes, "No way, it can't be done." So the Pope headbutts her. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 16 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.