President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter. "It's me, Bill Clinton". "What bad things did you do on earth?" Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury." After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell'. You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it 'eternity'. And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 15 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. pushing pushing not going..sucking pushing going.. Q: what is that? A: needle and thread. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 116 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark? A: Zero, Moses didn't have an ark, Noah did! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 143 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? A: No - because he is dead! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 110 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.