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Person A: You know there are starving
people in those third world countries,
and you're just wasting that food?
Person B: Then package it up and ship
it to them if you're so concerned you dumb shit!


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Reaching the end of a job interview,
the Human Resources Person asked a
young Engineer fresh out of Texas A&M,
"And what starting salary were you
looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood
of $125,000 a year, depending on the
benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would
you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation,
14 paid holidays, full medical and dental,
a company matching retirement fund for 50%
of your salary, and a company car leased
every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said,
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah,
but you started it."


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Walking up to a department store's
fabric counter, the pretty girl said,
"I would like to buy this material
for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied
the male clerk with a smirk.
"That's fine," said the girl.
"I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation
written all over his face, the clerk
quickly measured out the cloth,
wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package,
pointed to the old geezer standing
beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa
will pay the bill."


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A man went to apply for a job.
After filling out all of his
applications, he waited anxiously
for the outcome. The employer
read all his applications and said,
"We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"


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