A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" insisted the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 83 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. "And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No thank you." the gentleman replied. "That will be all." As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked. "Yeah! That's a good idea." the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 17 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. When John first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. John became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though rare, John's condition could be cured through corrective surgery. "How long will John be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously. "Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor. "Well," said the wife, "you are planning to lengthen John's legs, aren't you?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 59 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.