Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son. Michael says "Hey Doc how long till we can have sex?" The Doctor says "At least wait till he is walking Michael!!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One day old man Franc, and his wife Jodey went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Franc looks to Jodey and says, "Jodey, I think I really should try that." Jodey replies, "I know you want to Franc, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Franc goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Franc wants to ride, but Jodey says no money. Finally, when Franc and Jodey are both about 70 years old, Franc looks to Jodey, and says, "Jodey, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Jodey replies in the same old fashion, and Franc kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation... The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Jodey and Franc look at each other, and agree to take the ride. The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Franc and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." Franc looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Jodey fell out, but $10 is $10!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 7 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 112 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.