Q: What's dangerous and swings from trees? A: A monkey with a chainsaw! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 110 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. "May I speak to your parents?" "They're busy." "Oh. Is anybody else there?" "The police." "Can I speak to them?" "They're busy." "Oh. Is anybody else there?" "The firemen." "Can I speak to them?" "They're busy." "So let me get this straight, your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?" "Looking for me." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 18 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman were sitting in the pub discussing families. The talk turned to children and each was surprised to find out that they all had 14-year-old daughters. The Englishman explained that his problem was that he had found cigarette butts under his daughter's bed, “I didn't know she smoked,” was his lament. The Frenchy then proclaimed that he had found whiskey bottles under his child's bed. “I was not aware that she drank,” he moaned. The Irishman was adamant that he had the more pressing problem -- he had found condoms under his darling daughter's bed. “I didn't know she had a dick,” he wailed. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 717 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hr. the chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house. The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. The farmer said that his son was a geneticist and he had developed this breed of chicken because the three of them each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken. "That's the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?" "I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 7 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.