As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them." His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 171 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. It's for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, "My Doberman here killed her." "Gee...That's terrible," commiserated the spectator. "But... Hmmmm... Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?" The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and answered, "Get in line." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 68 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....run!" The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls." "Walk with pr-r-ride man!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 56 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? A: Eminem has to chew before swallowing Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 99 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.