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What does Pammela Anderson and pepsi have in common?
They both come with plastic jugs



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Q: What's gross?
A: German porn.
Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: People who watch it.



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Q: How did Captain Hook die?
A: He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!!



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Computer Viruses:
Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.
Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.
Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks
to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.
Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down.
Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.
HBO virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after week.
Woody Allen virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them to the
authorities.
Bill Clinton virus: Won't let you query the system for information.
Ken Starr virus: Expands a focused search of a specific file into a global interregation
of every existing file. Creates links between unrelated data. Works extremely slow while
searching and compiling results.
Al Gore virus: Runs quietly in background mode but doesn't appear to really do much of
anything.
Saddam Hussein virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.
Tonya Harding virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
George Michael virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.
Jerry Seinfeld virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're really enjoying it.
David Caruso NYPD Blue virus: After running successfully for
a while, it exits the program it was in and never works again.
Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.
X-files virus: All your Icons start shape shifting.
Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
AT&T virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.


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