Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister Mary Katherine and she said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy." "Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!" "Oh Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped. "It helps her constipation, you know." So, Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the convent, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine; and she was snookered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering, so Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!" Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied: "And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me, she's going to shit!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, ''Is this some kind of joke?'' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 106 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until I couldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gave her a little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiled sweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal." "A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean a performance?" "No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 13 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe. "Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a sign from God that we are to be best friends for the rest of our lives," she spoke wisely. "I agree completely, ma'am," the man replied. The woman stepped closer to examine the damage and noticed something shiny within her car. Reaching in, she pulled out an unbroken bottle. "This bottle of wine wasn't even cracked. I think this is another sign that we are to drink a toast to our new friendship." "That's a great idea, miss," the man answered taking the bottle from her. He popped the cork and drank his share. "I'm sorry. How rude of me. Would you like some?" "No, thanks," came the reply. "I'll just wait for the cops to get here." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 721 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.