Q: Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? A: Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 108 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample. The man was slightly deaf and said "What?" Again, the doctor said "I need a blood, urine and feces sample." The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear: "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 34 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their life. Doctor: ''I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for, and healing thousands of poor people.'' St. Peter: ''That's great. Go ahead in to heaven. And what about you, dear?'' Nurse: ''I've supported the good doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult.'' St. Peter: ''Wonderful. Please proceed in with the doctor. And what about you?'' Health Maintenance Organizaton Director: ''I was the president of a very large HMO and was responsible for the healthcare of millions of people all over the country.'' St. Peter: ''Oh, I see. Please go in...but you can only stay two nights!'' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 1 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night. He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 195 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.