A guy is in a hotel lobby. He bumps into a lady and turns around to apologize. He says, "If your heart is as soft as your breast, you'll forgive me." The lady says, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 202!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 272 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A young man wished to purchase a present for his sweetheart. After careful consideration, he decided on a pair or gloves, accompanied by his sweetheart's sister. He went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. A sister bought a pair of panties for herself. During the gift wrapping, the presents got mixed up. The sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man mailed the package to his sweetheart with this note: "This is a little gift to show you that I have not forgotten your birthday. I chose this because I noticed that you are in a habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for you sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears the short one that are very easy to remove. These are the delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had another sales girl try them on and she really looked good in them. I wish I could put them on you for them first time. No doubt, other men's hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you in them. When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and wear them for me on Friday night. All My Love. P.S. Just think how many times I will kiss what's inside them during this coming year. Also, the latest style is to wear them folded down with the fur showing." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 21 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each. Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish. Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 724 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A new employee joins the Company, and is required to have a password setup for his computer. The boss directed a secretary to setup the password for him. The secretary asks the man for the password. The man, attempting to embrass the secretary in order to show superiority, said, "Penis." Blushed, the secretary inputted the password Penis, and re-typed it again. Then she hit enter. The whole office heard the secretary bursting out of laughters as a reaction from the computer's screen: "Password rejected. Reason: Too short" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 743 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.