The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way. None of the judge's yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk's pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted. The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that. The judge couldn't resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique. "Oh, there's not much to it," admitted the clerk happily, "I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 27 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off too." The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "I I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 29 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. President Bill Clinton called Jean Chretien with a pressing emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried, "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!" "Bill, da Canajian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to 'elp you," replied the Prime Minister. "I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send us 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?" "Certainement! I will get on hit right haway." said Jean. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said President Bill. "Oui?" "Could the condoms be red, white and blue, and at least 10 long and 4 in diameter?" asked Clinton. "No prob'lem," replied the Prime Minister, and with that, Chretien hung up and called the president of Trojan. "I need a favor. You got to make 1,000,000 condoms right haway, an sen'em to America." "Consider it done," said the President of Trojan. "Great! Now listen mon ami. Dey haf to be bleu, blanc 'n rouge in color; hat least 10 hinches long, and 4 hinches in dia' meter." "That's easily done. Anything else?" "Yes," said the Prime Minister, "an print on dem MADE IN CANADA, size: MEDIUM." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 2 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pants. The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany". The others ask "How do you know", The German says "Cuz' it's so cold". Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia", The others ask "How do you know" he replies "Cuz' it's so warm". Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says "We are in Mexico", The others ask "How do you know?" he says " Cuz' my watch in gone". Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 18 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.