One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definitely in a sentence. Suzy raised her hand so she called on her. She said: “the sky is definitely blue!” “I'm sorry Suzy that’s wrong the sky sometimes turns different colors red ,gray etc.. Anybody else?” Timmy raised his hand and said: “the grass is definitely green”. “I'm sorry Timmy that's not true either, sometimes the grass dies and it may turn brown, anybody else?” Little Johnny raises his hand and says: “Teacher do farts have lumps?” The teacher said, “no why?” Jonny says: “Than I definitely Shit my pants!” Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 18 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says, "Billy-Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?" Billy-Bob replies, "Well sheriff, it's a long story!" Sheriff says that he isn't in a hurry and that Billy-Bob should tell the story. Billy-Bob continues, "Well sheriff, me and Mary-Lou were down on the farm and we started a cuddling. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did. Inside the barn we stated a kissing and a cuddling and things got pretty hot and heavy, well Mary-Lou said that we should go up on the hill. So we did. Up on the hill we started a kissing and a cuddling and then Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. Well, I took off all my clothes except my gun belt and my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay on the ground and opened her legs and said "Billy-Bob, go to town" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 576 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policeman stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: ”DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW. P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.” Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.