The newspaper obituary operator received a phone call. The woman on the other end asked, "How much do funeral notices cost?" "Five dollars per word, ma'am," came the response. "Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, write this: 'Cohen died.' " "I'm sorry, ma'am, I forgot to tell you there's a five-word minimum." "Hmmph," came the reply. "You certainly did forget to tell me that." After a moment of silence, the woman continued, "Got your pencil and paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, print this: 'Cohen died, Cadillac for sale.' " Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 1 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Three coaches flew to the NCAA convention. The plane crashed and all three died. They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds. God wanted to know three things: "Who are you? What did you do? What did people think of you?" The first coach said, "I'm Denny Crum. I was the second-best coach in the nation. I won two national championships and over 20 games a year. The people of Kentucky think I'm great." God said, "Fine, Denny, stand on my right side." The next person said, "I'm Rick Pitino. I was the third-best coach in the nation. I won an SEC Championship and turned the program around to a fairly respectable one. The people of Kentucky think I'm great." God said, "Fine, Rick, stand on my left side." The third person stood before God and said, "I'm Bobby Knight and I've won three national championships, 2 NIT championships, the Pan Am Games, the Olympics, 9 Big Ten championships, I was the youngest coach ever to win 600 games, and the people of Indiana think you are sitting in my chair." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 15 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? A: BINGO! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 102 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Ingredients: 2 whole nuts 1 large banana 2 strong arms 2 well shaped legs 1 fur lined mixing bowl 4 loving eyes. Mixing instructions: Look into eyes, part legs. Gently squeeze milk jugs. Continue until bowl is well greased. Add banana, top with nuts. Move in and out until cake is well creamed. Sigh with relief, let cool. Do not lick the bowl. If cake starts to rise, get out of town FAST! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 302 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.