A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. "Hey, nice tie!" comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it. "Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged elsewhere. "Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him. "It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" she asked. "No way, you already broke yours off!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q. What do you call an honest lawyer? A. An oxymoron. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 110 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Once upon a time there was a lawyer who was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said: “You're beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: “You're cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said: “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was: “The drugs are wearing off!” Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 6 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.