The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it. One day this little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains to the little man. The crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 14 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A circus owner walks into a bar and sees a crowd around a table watching a show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap-dancing on it. The circus owner was impressed so he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some dealings they settled for $15,000 for the duck and the pot. A week later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before the audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "Did you remember to light the candle under the pot?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A small guy enters a bar, and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big guy looks down upon the small guy and says, 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, "Turner Brown." The small guy faints. The man picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and asks him, "What's wrong with you?" The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?" The big dude looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around'." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 2 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy walks into a bar, right? It’s really kind of stupid, because you'd think he would have seen it first Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 92 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.