A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks. The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 729 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy walks into a bar and tells everyone there, "Give me your money, jewelry and everything valuable or I will inject you with AIDS virus." Then he produces a syringe. One by one everyone hands over all their stuff except one man at the end of the bar. "I told you to hand over all your stuff or I'll inject you with the AIDS virus." The man at the bar said, "Go ahead, I'm wearing a condom." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 38 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man stomps into a bar, obviously angry. He shouts at the bartender, "Give mea beer", taste the beer, and shouts out, "All lawyers are assholes!" At the other end of the bar a guy retorts, "You take that back!" The angry man snarls, "Why? Are you a lawyer?" The guy replies, "No, I'm an asshole!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 19 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This guy passes in a small town and decides to stop at the local bar. He orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gives him his drink and shouts, "46!!" Everyone starts to laugh. Again he shouts, "39!!" Now the laughing is getting even louder. Lastly, he shouts, "14!!" Now, people are wiping tears from their eyes from laughing. The guy is curious, so he asks the bartender "What is going on?" The bartender says, "This is a small town, with small children, so we had decided to put numbers to our dirty jokes rather than tell them in full". So the visitor says. "Let me try!!". So he shouts, "46!!" Nothing happens. "39!!" Still nothing. "14!!" and yet still not a sound. The guy says to the bartender, "I don't understand. I used exactly the same numbers you did and got an opposite response". The bartender replied, "Well, some folks can tell a joke... and some folks can't". Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 34 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.