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Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy
house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife
needs me to help with the attic and the garage,
moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed,Smith," the boss replies,
"I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew
I could count on you!"


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Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break,
about being out late the night before. The first
man said," My wife was asleep when I got home,
so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get
into trouble." The second deaf man said, "Boy
you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting
for me in bed, and she started swearing at me
and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf man asked, " So what did you do?"
"I turned out the light," the second man replied.


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A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer
were asked "How much is 2+2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!".
The accountant says: "I think it's
either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures
through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the
lights and asks in a hushed voice,
"How much do you want it to be?"


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The doctor answered the phone and heard the
familiar voice of a colleague on the other
end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker,"
said the friend. "I'll be right over,"
whispered the doctor. As he was putting on
his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely.
"Why there are three doctors there already!"



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