So, in the bar were Tom, Dick and Harry. Tom says “My wife is so stupid, she bought $1000 worth of meat, and we don't even have a freezer” “That’s nothing” says Dick, “my wife is so thick, she bought a $20,000 car, and she can't even drive!” “Pah”, says Harry, 'my wife is so stupid, she booked a to trip to Ibiza, and bought 1000 condoms, and she hasn't even got a dick!” Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 29 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man that has spend over than four hours with his mates in the pub, decides that he better be heading off to his house if he doesn't want to be kicked out by his wife. So, he says bye to everyone and leaves home. He is so drunk that in the middle of the street, he starts shouting out loud: "I'm Jesus!!! I'm Jesus!!! I'm Jesus!!!" A fellow on the other side of the road looks at him and recognizes his friend. So he goes towards him, takes him by the arm and tells him: "You can't say things like that, are you mad?" The other answers back "But I do know Jesus!!! You don't believe me? Come with me and I'll show you that you're wrong!!" So they both walk towards the pub he had just left and as soon as he walks in, the bartender looks at him and says: "Jesus, not you again!!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 11 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An alien walks into a bar and up to the bartender. Bartender says, "It must be awful for you aliens." Alien points out its finger and touches the bartender, making a "zap" sound. Bartender says, "You aliens have no dick." Alien keeps zapping the bartender. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. Bartender says, "So, how do you have sex?" Alien keeps zapping the bartender. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 25 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blind guy walks into a barroom and finds a stool at the bar. "Hey, want to hear a really great blond joke?" He says when the bartender brings him his drink. The place goes quiet, then the guy sitting on his left leans over and says in a low voice: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond and I'm a 6' tall, 200-lb blond with a black belt in karate. The guy sitting on your right is 6'2," weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to his right is 6'5" and pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. We're all blonds. Think about it, Pal. You really wanna tell that joke?” The blind guy thinks for a minute, then says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.