A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. He looks around, admiring the room and he soon notices that there are big lumps of meat hanging on the ceiling. He says to the bartender, "Why have you got all this meat hanging around?" The barman says,"Its a little bet that we are running. If you can jump up and grab a bit of meat in your mouth then you can have all your drinks bought for you. If you fail then you have to buy everyone else in the bar their drinks for them. Are you going to have a try at it?'' The man shakes his head and says to the bartender, “No, the stakes are too high”. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 7 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. After a bit of Christmas shopping three little old ladies, shivering from the cold, decided to get a drink at a local bar. After the second round of hot toddies, the first little old lady said to the others "Have any of you decided what to give the doorman for Christmas?" The first little old lady said, "I think I'll give him some money... I think he could use the money." The second little old lady said, "Perhaps, but I've seen him at this bar several times, already…I think I'll give him a bottle." The two of them turn to the third little old lady, who was quietly sipping her drink and asked, "...and what are YOU giving the doorman for Christmas?" "I," said the woman with a smile, "am giving the doorman SEX." What the two exclaimed, "You're giving the doorman sex! And what does your husband think about that?" "In fact," she replied, "my husband told me I should give the doorman sex. Why just last night I asked my husband 'What are we giving the doorman for Christmas?' and he said to me, 'The doorman, FUCK THE DOORMAN!' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 23 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A 3-foot midget walks into a bar and slips over on a pile of shit. Minutes later a huge tough guy walks into the bar and slips over on the pile of shit, the midget says to the big guy, "I just did that", and the big guy punches the midgets lights out. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 8 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man walks into a bar with a metal box under one arm and a duck under the other. He then says to the bartender: "If you give me a free bottle of beer I'll show you my dancing duck". The barman is surprised, but gives the guy a beer and asks the bloke to show him the duck dancing. So the guy puts the metal box on the bar, and the duck on top of it. A few seconds later the duck starts to jump around, as if he's doing an Irish jig. Everyone in the bar is now watching this duck dancing, and the barman offers the guy £50 for the duck and the box. The bloke accepts, and the pub is filled day and night for 3 days with people watching the amazing dancing duck. So 3 days after he sold the barman the duck, the guy walks back in to the pub and sees his duck dancing on the box on top of the bar. The barman sees the guy and offers him a drink on the house. As he gives the guy the drink, the barman asks, "Could you tell me how you stop the duck from dancing on top of the box?" The man replies: "Oh that's easy, you just take the hot coals out." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 21 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.