A man was walking around a new town, looking for a place to eat, when he spotted a restaurant called "Anything You Want". A notice on the window read "We can fix any dish you ask for - if we don't have it, you will be paid $200". Thinking this was a pretty good deal, the man went in and sat down at a table. The waitress came over to take his order. He said "I'll have roast elephant on rye bread, hold the mayo." She snapped her gum, stuck her pencil back in her hair and walked into the kitchen. All of a sudden, the man heard screaming and yelling, pots and pans being thrown, and dishes breaking. The kitchen door slammed open as the owner came charging out. He put two one-hundred dollar bills on the table, and said "I can't believe it. I've been in business here for ten years, and this is the first time I've run out of rye bread!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 56 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Mark is sitting at the bar totally forlorn and drinking up a storm. His friend Ray approaches him and asks what's wrong. Mark says, "Everything is terrible. I've been replaced at work with a computer, and I've been replaced at home with a vibrator!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 44 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." "It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian." "Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month." "There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 34 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria. The elderly matron sitting at the counter was obviously upset at the cigarette smoke of the young woman beside her. Finally the older woman could take it no longer. She turned to the girl and bellowed with a loud voice "Young lady, I would rather commit adultery than smoke!" "So would I," quipped the girl, "but you know, there just isn't time enough during a coffee break." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 19 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.