Man walks into a bar, slap's down a twenty dollar bill and asks the bartender to keep the shots coming. He just found out that his father was a gay. Week later, the same man comes in, slaps down another twenty and asks the bartender to keep the shots coming. He just found out his brother was gay. Another week passes, the same man stomps in, infuriated. Slaps down a twenty. "You know the drill," he tells the bartender. The bartender shakes his head in disbelief. "Say," he mutters, "doesn't anyone in your family sleep with women?" "Yeah," says the unfortunate fellow, "My wife!, I just found out tonight!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 15 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed, I called out :'Is that you, Jack?' And that cured him." "Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how ?" The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Jim." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This is a list of the ways that professors in different departments grade their final exams: Dept Of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. Dept Of History: All students get the same grade they got last year. Dept Of Religion: Grade is determined by God. Dept Of Philosophy: What is a grade? English Dept.: Your final exam will be scored by totaling. the weight of all the books you read this semester. Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. .Dept Of Mathematics: Grades are variable. Dept. Of Physics: Grades are relative. but...All theoretical physics is really mathematics. See Above. Dept. Of Chemistry: All theoretical chemistry is really physics. See Above. Dept. Of Biology: All theoretical biology is really chemistry. See Above. Dept. Of Logic: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. Dept. Of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade, but... YOUR grade is an object in a class of its own. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 7 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. so he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer. Then it it's time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender, the guy throws 30 dimes behind the counter. The bartender is upset and is on his hands and knees collecting change as the guy leaves. The next day the man is back and he comes in waiving a $5 dollar bill. The bartender thinks: "Okay, business is business" and lets him in. Again, The beer is kind of warm, but the guy doesn't say anything. Comes time to pay, the man gives him the $5 bill. The bartender goes To the register to get the change, but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he takes out 20 dimes and throws them all around the entire pub. The bartender says: "There is your bloody change!" The man looks around and remains quite calm. He takes out 10 dimes, throws them behind the counter and says: "Gimme another beer!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 1 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.