There was a mature gentleman wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals, "Pilsbury…Phils….!" Finally a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Pilsbury is on aisle five." "Oh," replied the old gentleman, "I'm not looking to buy Pilsbury, I am calling my wife." "Your wife is named "Pilsbury?" "No," he answered, "I only call her that when we come to the supermarket." "Oh? What do you call her when you are not in the supermarket?" "Fat ass." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 27 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As she sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide her with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and she doesn't show up. Finally, at 5am Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" Demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly...Mark Mark, something or other." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 205 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An overweight businessman decided it was time to shed some excess weight. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favourite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheese cake. His friends all scolded him, but his smile remained "This is a very special cheese cake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were all those cakes. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, "Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheese cakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery", and sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 28 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl answered, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied: "They will in a minute." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 23 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.