An old man and his wife go camping for the first time... there they are, sitting by the cracking fire, and the woman says to her husband, "I think I shall go take off my bra since no one is around." The husband says, "Why sure honey, go right ahead." So the old woman disappears into the tent, returning a few moments later she asks "How do I look?" "Wonderful!" says he... "took all the wrinkles out of your face!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says: "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today? I'll hike north and spend the day looking around; you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire." The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched the wildflowers . How was your day?" The second friend says: "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and we had sex in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp." "Wow!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a big kiss for goodbye, too?" "Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 461 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette: "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. " Jump! You have jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!" "No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!" "Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 21 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the California Biggest Breast Competition. The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived. The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 17 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.