"If you'll make the toast and pour the coffee, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride," breakfast will be ready". "Good, what are we having for breakfast"? asked the new husband. "Toast and coffee," she replied. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 13 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $85,000." "No problem! I'll write you a check!" "Very good, Sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared". So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!" "I just had to come by", grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 19 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Dear Teacher, Todd won't be at school. With rodents he's playing the fool. The kid ought to check, er, Where he puts his pecker: A mousetrap's attached to his tool. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 16 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A magician on a cruise liner had a parrot ,who'd seen all the magician's tricks a jillion times, long ago having figured out how the magician made everything in the act disappear. The parrot grew to be bored shitless, his owner growing stale and not developing any new tricks that the parrot could figure out. One night in the middle of the magician's performance, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone drowned except the magician and the parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage and climb aboard, immediately collapsing from exhaustion. Soon afterward, the parrot flew to the magician and perched on the edge of the makeshift raft and stared at the magician .And stared. And stared. For a whole day the magician was unconscious, and all this time the parrot didn't take his eyes off him. Eventually the magician started to stir. Looking up, he saw the parrot, still eyeing him intently, not even blinking. Another hour goes by, and finally the parrot squawks: "All right, I give up. What did you do with the goddamn ship?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 17 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.