The Future As Seen From 1950 Not so long ago, this is what you'd hear in passing: "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, its' going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20." "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one." "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous." "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?" "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store." "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage." "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls." "Also, their music drives me wild. This 'Rock Around The Clock' thing is nothing but racket." "Pretty soon you won't be able to buy a good 10 cent cigar." "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas." "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president." "Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?" "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now." "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet." "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work." "Marriage doesn't mean a thing anymore, Those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat." "I'll tell you one thing. If my kid ever talks back to me, they won't be able to sit down for a week." "Did you know the new church in town is allowing women to wear slacks to their service?" "Next thing you know is, the government will start paying us not to grow crops." "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business." "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress." "Why in the world would you want to send your daughter to college? Isn't she going to get married? It would be different if she could be a doctor or a lawyer." "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on." "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel." "Anymore no one can afford to be sick, $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood." "If a few idiots want to risk their necks flying across the country that's fine, but nothing will ever replace trains." "I don't know about you but if they raise the price of coffee to 15 cents, I'll just have to drink mine at home." "If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it. I'll have my wife learn to cut hair." "We won't be going out much anymore. Our baby sitter informed us she wants 50 cents an hour. Kids think money grows on trees." "Cars which dim their lights by sensors, automatic transmissions, and who knows what else? Pretty soon they will drive themselves." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 6 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. The only time the world beats a path to your door... is if you're in the bathroom. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 220 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say, "WHO'S HORNY".....?!!!" And she acts like she's sound asleep. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 123 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A doctor told Jim that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. Jim decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" A voice said, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" Jim replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." "Well", said the cop, "you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 220 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.