A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 6 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy is sitting at a bar, throwing back glass after glass of scotch. The bartender, a little worried, asks him if he's okay. "No, I'm not," the guy replies. "I just caught my wife in bed with my best friend." "Well," asks the bartender, "what did you say to your wife?" "Nothing. I'm not speaking to that bitch anymore." "Well, what did you say to your best friend?" "BAD DOG! BAD DOG!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side. An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey! How about it babe? You and me?" As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars." She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 27 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Hi stranger, my name is Mike. I'll give you a free beer if you can guess the name of this bar in three tries." The man says, "Thanks...Mike's Place?" "Nope." "Mike's Tavern?" "No," "Mike's Pub?" "No, but here's a free beer anyway. Nobody ever get's it. The joint's name is Sally's Leggs! "That's a good one." the man says and proceeds to get royally ripped. The next morning the man is still drunk and sitting on a curb, when a cop pulls up and ask's him what he is doing there. He responds, "I'm just waiting for Sally's Leggs to open, so I can wet my whistle!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 31 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.