Bob is a regular guy and he is out at a local bar one night having a good time. Jack, the bartender and owner of the bar, offered him another drink and as he did Bob spoke up. 'Hey Jack, you're a betting kinda man aren't ya?' 'Maybe Bob, what did ya have in mind.' 'Well Jack, I will bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at the end of your bar and piss into it without spilling a drop.' Jack thought to himself, 'This guy must be a complete moron. There is no way he is gonna make that. This is gonna the easiest grand I've ever made.' 'Okay Bob. you're on.' Jack walked down to the other end of the bar and positioned a shot glass on the end. He walked back behind the bar and said, 'Okay Bob, Let's see what you got.' Bob unzipped his fly and staring pissing all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottle of booze, and all over Jack. Jack roared with laughter and almost fell over. Then he noticed that Bob was sitting at the bar smiling. 'What are you smiling at jackass, you just lost $1,000.' 'Well Bob, ya see that guy over there in the cowboy hat writing out a check.' 'Yeah, what about him.' 'Well I just bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your booze and you, and not only wouldn't you be mad, you would laugh hysterically about it.' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 165 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man goes into a bar and sees a pile of cash on a table beneath a big sign that reads "$2,000 Cash Prize! See bartender for details." Keeping one eye on the stack of money, the man goes over and asks the bartender what he has to do to win the prize. "You have to do three things and its all yours," the bartender says. "Just three things?" the guy asks, rubbing his hands now and imagining about walking out of the bar $2,000 richer. "What are the three things?" "Well," the bartender says, "first you have to go over to that 200-pound bouncer and knock him out..." "After that, I've got a mean-tempered pitbull in the backroom who needs a tooth pulled..." "Then you have to go and make love to the 80-year-old lady who lives upstairs." "No problem," the guy says. He struts over to the bouncer and says, "Hey pal your shoelace is untied." When the bouncer looks down at his shoes, the man flattens him with a single, solid uppercut. Next he heads to the back room where the pitbull is housed. The bartender can heara tremendous commotion from the back room it sounds like the pitbull has gone crazy. After a few minutes the man emerges from the backroom, quite bloody and cut up and breathing heavily. "Okay," he says, "where's the old broad that needs her tooth pulled??" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 11 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A bartender is getting ready to close for the night when a robber bursts in and pulls a gun. “This is a stickup!” He yells. “Put all your dough in a bag!” “Don’t shoot,” pleads the barkeep. “I’ll do whatever you say!” The bartender stuffs all the money into a bag and hands it over. The crook snatches it and then puts the gun to the bartender’s head and says, “All right, now give me a blow job!” “Anything!” cries the bartender. “Just don’t shoot!” The bartender gets on his knees and starts blowing the guy. After a few minutes, the robber gets so excited he drops his gun. The bartender picks the gun up off the floor and hands it back to the robber. “Hold the gun, dammit,” he says. “One of my friends might walk in!” Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 14 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A bartender is getting ready to close for the night when a robber bursts in and pulls a gun. “This is a stickup!” He yells. “Put all your dough in a bag!” “Don’t shoot,” pleads the barkeep. “I’ll do whatever you say!” The bartender stuffs all the money into a bag and hands it over. The crook snatches it and then puts the gun to the bartender’s head and says, “All right, now give me a blow job!” “Anything!” cries the bartender. “Just don’t shoot!” The bartender gets on his knees and starts blowing the guy. After a few minutes, the robber gets so excited he drops his gun. The bartender picks the gun up off the floor and hands it back to the robber. “Hold the gun, dammit,” he says. “One of my friends might walk in!” Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 18 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.