There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This went on for a while then the bartender finally asked, 'How come you ask for a beer, chug it, then look in your pocket?' The man said, 'because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough to go home.' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 19 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy and a gal meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied. "You keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl says, "You must be a really good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Well yes, I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?" "I didn't feel a thing!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 17 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This guy is sitting in a bar drunk, he asks the bartender where's the bathroom at? The bartender said, go down the hall & make a right. Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom again. This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He opened the door and asked the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away." The drunk said, "I'm sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "No wonder, you're sitting on a mop bucket!! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. in front of him he see's a big jar full of 5's and a little card it reads: Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5 So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. 2 minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. THE NEXT DAY: The same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. $10 So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. 4 minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 12 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.