A miner comes out of the hills, enters a bar, orders a drink. Looking around, he asks the bartender, "Hey, where?re all the wimmin?" The Barman replies, "Ain?t no wimmin here, not fer a long time." "Well what do y?all do?" "We do it with the animals." Thoroughly disgusted, he ordered another drink and headed back to the hills. Months later, same story... After downing too many whiskeys he asked the bartender, "You?re sure you do it with the animals?" "Yes, we do, sir" Hearing this, he raced into the street and saw a pig run into an alley. He chased after it and started having his way with it, the pig squealing. After a while he heard a noise behind him. He turned to look and saw half the town, horrified. The bartender was in front and said, "My God, man, what are you doing?" "I thought you said you all did it with the animals." "Yeah, but no one fucks the sheriff?s broad!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 16 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy and a girl met at a bar. They're getting along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. So the girl looks at him and says, 'You must be a dentist!'. The guy all surprised says, 'Yes, how did you figure that out ?'. The girl says, 'Easy, you keep washing your hands'. One thing led to another. They make love. After they were done, the girl says, 'You must be a GREAT dentist!'. The guy was very very surprised, he says, 'Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out??' The girl says, 'Easy, I didn't feel a thing!' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 7 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man. Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands, piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.." Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..." Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo... " Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya fuck one sheep . . . " Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 51 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One day this big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a raggedy sleeveless sundress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, 'What man out there will buy a lady a drink?' The whole bar goes dead silent as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little piss head slams his hand on the bar and says, 'Barman, I want to buy that ballerina a drink.' The barman pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the throng and points around at all of them, again revealing the hairy armpit, saying, 'What man out there will buy a lady a drink?' Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and slurs to the barman, 'Sir, I would like to buy the ballerina another drink.' After serving the lady her second drink, the barman approaches the little drunkard and says, 'It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?' To which, the drunk replies, 'Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina.' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 6 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.