A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. I have all the illnesses that exist. Only hypochondaria I don't have yet! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 116 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?" The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream." "No shit?" says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued. "Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes." "Keep going!" I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, "You now have three wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, "What will be your second wish?" "What next?" begged the bartender. I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours! Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?" I looked at her and replied, "How 'bout a little head?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Bumper Sticker... Constipated People Don't Give A Crap Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 18 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.