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An old man walks into a confessional.
Man: "I am 91 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years,
many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
Yesterday I picked up two college girls hitchhiking.
We went to a motel where I had sex with each of them."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm telling everybody!"


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George: "My wife's an angel!"
John: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


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Susan: "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?"
Mary: "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."


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Teacher: "Can anyone give me the name of a
liquid that won't freeze?"
Little Johnny: "Hot water!"


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