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Teacher: "Why are you late?"
Little Johnny: "There was a man who lost a hundred dollar"
Teacher: "That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?"
Little Johnny: "No. I was standing on it."


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Q: What is the definition of Scotland?

A: A place where men are men and sheep are nervous.


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Teacher: "Johnny, where were you born?"
Little Johnny: "I was born in California."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Little Johnny: "All of me."


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Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?

A: The cake jumps out of the girl.


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