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Q: Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll
give you love, affection, tenderness and understanding?
A: It means you're in the wrong house.


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Little Jonhnny and his friend Little Jenny were making
ugly faces at each other.
Teacher: "You know, I once made those faces,
and someone told me, that if i keep making those ugly
faces, I will grow up to be stuck with that face, forever"
Little Jonhnny: "Then why didn't you listen to them?"


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Doctor had slept with one of his patients and
had felt guilty. No matter how much he tried to forget
about it, he couldn't.
But every once in a while, he'd hear that voice,
within himself, trying to reassure him:
"don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to
sleep with one of his patients and you won't be the last."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to
reality:"You're a vet..."



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An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A young man walked up to the bench and sat down.
He had spiked hair in all different colors.
The old man just stared.
Young man: "What's the matter, never done anything
wild in your life?"
Old man: "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot.
I was just wondering if you were my son."




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