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A blind man was standing on the corner with his
dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on his leg.
The man reached in his pocket and took out
a doggie biscuit. A passer-by who had been watching
ran up to him and said, "You shouldn't do that.
He'll never learn anything if you reward him
when he does something like that!".
The blind man replied, "I'm not rewarding him.
I'm just trying to find his mouth so
I can kick him in the ass!"



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John went to the doctor who told him that
he had a terminal illness and only a year to live.
So he decided to seek advice from his pastor.

Pastor: "What you should do is go out and buy
a late '70 model Dodge Pickup,"
"Then go get married to the ugliest woman
you can find, and buy yourselves an old
trailer house in the panhandle of Oklahoma.

John: "Will this help me live longer?"

Pastor: "No, but it will make what time you do have,
seem like forever."



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Q: How do you say: "Four Bullfighters In Quicksand"
in spanish?

A: Quatro Sinko.



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Chief constable : (to a new recruit)
What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
Recruit: Call for backup!



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