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Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one, but he is never around when he's needed.


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George sais to his wife "Get your coat darling,
it's time to go down to the pub."
She replied "But you NEVER take me out."
"I'm not," said George, "but I'm turning the
heating off before I go."


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Q: Why did the blonde crash her plane while landing?

A: The runway was only 30ft long, but a mile wide.


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The sergent is briefing the recruits:
"For the next 12 weeks the commanding
officer will be your father, and I will
be your mother. Incidentally we are not
married, so you know what that makes you..."


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