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Q: why are the strawberries sad
A: because their parents are in a jam.



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There's a man who farts every morning. He farts and
then walks downstairs.
His wife says to him,"If you fart like that all the time
you'll fart your guts out.
So now it's the day before thanksgiving, and his
wife wants to play a joke on him, So she takes the
guts out of the turkey and puts it all under his sheets so
when he wakes up he thinks he farted his guts out.
The next day he wakes up in the morning and farts as usual,
he pulls up the sheets and screams.
A few minutes later, he walks down stairs and says,
"You were right honey. I farted my guts out, but thanks to these two
fingers, i think I got them all back in.


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A man sits down at a restaurant and looks at the menu.
He tells the waiter "I think I will have the turtle soup".
The waiter leaves, but the man changes his mind to pea soup."
He yells to the waiter "Hold the turtle, make it pea."


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Teacher: "Dan, how can you prove the earth is round?"
Dan: "I can't. Besides, I never said it was."


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