The teacher is droning away in the classroom
when he notices a student sleeping way up in
the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping
student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep,
you wake him up!"
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says "Lady, it says here that you should be
wearing glasses."
The woman answered "I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know!
You're getting a ticket!"