So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be damned if you are going to take that day off! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 28 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A gay man is driving down the road in the middle of the desert. He notices a run down bar and stops for a drink. He walks in and asks for a beer. The bartender told him to leave, that he would scare the customers away. The gay man finnaly convices the bartender, but was told to sit in the corner, drink his drink and leave. The guy got the drink and sat down. About 5 minutes later, a big burly truck driver comes through the door. He said "Man I am so thristy, I could lick the sweat off a bull's balls!" Suddenly the gay man jumped up and said "Moo, Moo, Buckaroo!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 46 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. I think my wife is selling drugs! Yesterday I was running a little bit late for work and the phone rang. I answered it. Before I could say anything a male voice on the line said, Hey honey is that DOPE gone yet? Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 35 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. As soon as Mrs. Jones arrived at the gates of Heaven she sought her husband, who had died several years before. "Excuse me," she said, approaching St. Peter, "but I'm looking for my husband. I wonder if you can help me." "What is his name?" St. Peter inquired. "Harry...Harry Jones." she replied. St. Peter stroked his chin. "There are many here who have that name. What else can you tell me about him?" Blurting out the first thing that came to mind, she said, "Well, the last thing he said before he died was that if I were ever unfaithful to him, he would turn in his grave." "Ah!" said St. Peter, "you're looking for Pin Wheel Harry!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.