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A man and his wife were having some problems
at home and were giving each other the silent
treatment. The next week the man realized that
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am
for an early morning business flight to Chicago.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence,
he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me
at 5:00 am".
The next morning the man awakened, only to
discover it was 9:00 am, and he had missed his
flight. Furious, he was about to see why his
wife hadn't awakened him when he noticed a piece
of paper by the bed, it said: "It is 5:00 am.
Wake up."


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Peter: "Mary and I are going to get a divorce".
John was stunned. "Why? What happened, you two
seem so happy together"
"Well" he said, "ever since we got married, Mary
has tried to change me. She got me to stop
drinking, smoking, running around at all hours
of the night and more. She taught me how to dress
well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking,
classical music and how to invest in the stock
market."
"Are you a little bitter because she spent so
much time trying to change you." John probed.
"Nah, I`m not bitter. Now that I`m so improved,
she just isn`t good enough for me."


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Q: What would David Beckham's name be if he
was a Spice Girl?
A: Waste of Spice.


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Q: What is the difference between a bachelor
and a married man?
A: Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the
refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes
home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the
refrigerator.


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