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Having gone to his secretary's apartment,
Mr. Biggs was astonished to wake up and
find that it was three in the morning.
"My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going
to kill me!"
Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran
to the nearest pay phone and called his wife.
"Honey!" he began, "Don't call the cops
and don't pay the ransom, I escaped!"


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One brith sunny morning there were three men.
Their names were 'Manners','Trouble' and
'Hushyourmouth'.
One day Trouble lost and Manners and Hushyourmouth
went to the police station.
Manners stand outside and Hushyourmouth went
to the police.
The police ask him "What is your name?"
He said: "Hushyourmouth."
The police ask him: "Do you have manners?"
He said: "Yes, he's outside."
"Oh, you are looking for trouble."
He said "of course"


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"Your Honor, I want to bring to your
attention how unfair it is for my
client to be accused of theft. He
arrived in New York City a week ago
and barely knows his way around.
What's more, he only speaks a few
words of English."
The Judge looked at the defendant and
asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said,
"Give me your wallet!"


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There was a couple getting divorced.
The wife started to cry and the husband
says: "Why are you crying?"
The wife says: "Because we are getting
divorced."
He says: "it doesn't matter, because
at the end of the day we're still gonna
be cousins."


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