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There was a girl in court with her parents.
The judge asks: "Do you want to live with
your mum?"
The girl says: "no! because she beats me."
The judge then says "Do you want to live
with your dad?"
The girl says: "no! he beats me to!"
The judge then asks: "Who do you want to
live with, then?"
The girl says: "I want to live with the
england cricket team because they don't
beat no-one!"


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Q: what did one eye sy to another eye?
A: There is something bad smelling in between us.


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One day a rich man saw a poor family eating
grass in the field. He stopped and invited
them to his house. They thanked him so much,
they even kissed his feet.
The man replied: "Don't worry, the grass in
my garden is over a metre long!"


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Three guys were on business trips to Saudi Arabia.
One day, they came upon this harem with over 100
beautiful women.
They started getting friendly with all the women,
when suddenly the Sheik came in.
"I am the master of all these women. No one else
can touch them except me. You three men must pay
for what you have done today. You will each die
and in a way corresponding to your profession."
The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what
he does for a living.
"I'm a cop", says the first man.
"Alright women, shoot his penis off!," said the sheik.
The sheik then turned to the second man and asked
him what he did for a living.
"I'm a firemen," said the second man.
"Alright women, burn his penis off!," said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do
you do for a living?"
And the third man answered, with a big smile on his
face, "I'm a lollipop salesman."


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