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Q: 4 gay men entered into a bar.
There was only one chair available.
What did they do?
A: They turn it the other way.


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there was a man travelling on a plane on a business
trip who was desperate for the toilet but every time
he went to the mens toilets it was occupied. the air
attendant say how much he was suffering, so she said
that he could use the womens toilets, but she warned
him not to touch the buttons, but being a man he touch
the buttons. he pressed the button with WW and warm
water sprinkled on his bottom, then he pressed WA then
warm air dryed his bottom, then he pressed PP and a
powder puff sprinkled talcom powder on his bottom, by
this time he was thinking women had it made, then
there was one button left, ATR he pressed it!!!
next thing he woke up in hospital we asked what was
going on he said i just remember pressing the ATR
button and the woman doctor said do you know what ATR
stands for! HE SAID NO! she said Automatic Tampon
Remover!!


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Teacher: "Matt, if your father has $5, and he gives
you how many dollars does he have?"
Matt: "5$"
Teacher: "Matt, you don't know your math!"
Matt: "You don't know my father!"


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One day in Sunday school, the teacher was giving
the class a lesson about stories with morals.
"Now," said the teacher, "does anyone have a
story with a moral they would like to share with
the class?"
Little Jenny raised her hand and the teacher
asked her to tell her story.
She said, "Once upon a time there was a little
girl who had to take some eggs to her grandmother.
She put them all in a basket, but on the way there,
she dropped the basket, and all the eggs broke,
and her grandma didn't get any eggs!"
"And what is the moral of your story?" asked
the teacher. Jenny said, "Don't put all of your
eggs in one basket."
"That was very good, Jenny", said the teacher.
"Who else has a story?"
Another little girl raised her hand. "Go on, Emma,
tell your story," said the teacher.
Emma stood up and said, "Well, once there was a
lady who raised chickens on a farm. Her chickens
laid a dozen eggs, and she planned to sell all
the chicks that came from them, but when they
hatched, she only got ten live chickens to sell.
And the moral of my story is, "Don't count your
chickens until they're hatched."
The little girl sat back down and Johnny raised
his hand.
"Let's hear your story, Johnny," said the teacher.
Johnny stood up and said, "Well, my Uncle Frank
was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. One day his
chopper got shot at and he knew he was going
down over enemy territory. All he had on board
was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
So he grabbed them all and bailed out. He drank
the whiskey on the way down and then he landed
right smack dab in the middle of an enemy village."
"He looked up and saw a hundred of the enemy all
around him, all armed with knives and ready to
kill him! Well, he killed seventy of them with the
machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he
killed twenty-five more with the machete, then
the blade broke and then he killed the last five
with his bare hands!"
"Good heavens," said the teacher, "That's umm...
quite a story. But what kind of moral could that have?"
Johnny said, "Don't mess with Uncle Frank when
he's been drinking!"


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