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men who have pierced ears are
better prepared for marriage.
They have experience pain and
bought jewelry.


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A lawyer, a economist, and a teacher
were going to the bathroom. The lawyer
gets done, washes his hands, and then
proceeds to use almost the entire roll
of paper towels to dry his hands.
He says "I was taught to be thorough."
The economist gets done, washes his
hands, but uses only one paper towel.
He says "I was taught to be environmentally
friendly."
The teacher gets done and leaves
without washing his hands. He says
"I was taught not to piss on my hands."


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Two Muffins were baking in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other and
says: "Holy Shit it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says: "Holy Shit,
A talking muffin!"


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Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so
they have to go into court on a Friday.
They go to court and the judge says,
"If you can convince more than 5 people
to stop doing drugs for the rest of their
lives, you won't be sent to jail."
So the two men agree and the judge tells
them to come back on Monday. So the two
guys come back on Monday and the judge
asks how they did.
"I got 17 people to get off drugs," says
the first guy.
"Wow, how'd you do that?" asks the judge.
"I used circles. I told them that this large
circle is your brain before drugs and this
small circle is your brain after drugs."
"Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy.
"I convinced 156 people to get off drugs."
"Wow. How'd you do that?" asked the judge.
"Well, I used circles too. I told them this
small circle is your butthole before prison."


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