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A Jew comes to his mother and says:
"I finaly met the girl of my dreams!"
The mother answers: "Who is she?"
The Jew gives her photos of different
girls and tells his mother to guess.
The mother looks around and eventualy
picks one photo and says: "There,
this little red hair."
The Jew says: "But mom, how did you
know?!?!"
-"She was the one I liked the least."


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A woman asked her friend how her weekend trip was.
"I don't know; I never got there," was the response.
"You never got there...what do you mean?"
"Well, you know me. I have to stop at every rest area,
and they all had a sign that said 'clean bathrooms.'
Well, that takes longer than you'd think!"


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Matt's dad picked him up from school
to take him to a dental appointment.
Knowing the parts for the school play
were supposed to be posted today, he
asked his son if he got a part.
Matt enthusiastically announced that
he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's
been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good
work and before you know it they'll
be giving you a speaking part."


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Two women, both smokers, were waiting at a bus
stop, when all of a sudden, it started to rain.
One woman pulled out a condom, snipped off the
end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
The other one asked what it was, and the lady replied:
"Oh, it's a condom. You should be able to get
them at most drugstores."
The woman went to a drugstore on her lunch break
that day and went up to the counter to ask for a
pack of condoms. The cashier asked what size she
wanted, and the old woman thought for awhile, and
then said: "One that will fit a Camel."


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