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"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant"
said Donna to Sharon.
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy"
Sharon responded.
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."


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A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.
A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking,
hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and
immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel
a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy
up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't
climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there,
looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable
wave of nausea passes through the little guy.
He can't hold it in any longer and throws up all over
the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy
wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.
"So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"


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Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped
set the table when company was due for dinner.
Presently, everything was on, the guests came
in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed
something was missing.
"Susan," she said, "You didn't put a knife and
fork at Mr. Smith's place."
"I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan.
"Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"


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There were three men at a bar. One man got
drunk and started a fight with the other two men.
The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.
The next day the man went before the judge.
The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?"
The man said, "Here and there."
The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?"
The man said, "This and that."
The judge then said, "Take him away."
The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?"
The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later"


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